Partnership of any kind requires Communication, Patience, Compromise, Generosity and Understanding by all parties involved. Couples - whether married or unmarried - are no different.
There are many reasons why couples come to counselling. Sometimes they are openly in a state of crisis, and other times one person in the relationship feels this crisis more than the other. Normally, one or both parties involved feel they have lost something that they feel unable to recover. There is a breakdown of communication or, perhaps, a recognition that they have never truly communicated openly with each other.
When we are caught up in any strong emotion (whether joy or despair or anger or even apathy), we are more likely to be re-active than pro-active. This is because it is more difficult to think clearly and take a long-term view when an emotional trigger is set off.
In relationships, these triggers can be set off easily because our partner usually knows us very well and we live our lives in close proximity. What might vaguely disturb us about a neighbour may enrage us about a partner, simply because it affects us more.
Couples and relationship counselling is about clarity and communication and a return to a place where we can make thoughtful decisions rather than impulsive ones. Often, as life happens, we forget what drew us to our partner in the first place or who we are as individuals.
How Can Counselling and Wellbeing Scotland Help Couples?
At Counselling and Wellbeing Scotland, we believe in honouring and hearing all peoples’ experiences because what a person believes to be true is usually how that person experiences the world.
In couples/relationship counselling, your counsellor will facilitate opportunities for both people to express and hear the other person in a safe and neutral environment. Your counselling sessions will hopefully be times and spaces when you learn to express yourselves and listen to each other again.
Your counsellor will work with you to review your relationship over the long-term, in addition to focusing on the immediate issues. Through specialised techniques, your counsellor will assist you to improve communication and dis-charge some strong emotions that block our capacity to make thoughtful decisions. In this way, both parties are enabled to consider the relationship and their individual roles more clearly.
Realistically, couples/relationship counselling does not guarantee the return to a happy love relationship.
Rather, it is an opportunity to work together with a professional therapist to improve communication and grow in understanding and appreciation of each other, ourselves and the issues at hand.